How does it look?

How does it look from there? From over there, from where you see this situation? 

Right now, I’m sitting in some fear. I have convinced myself that something is in the process of unfolding…ripening… into a conclusion that makes me scared to consider as a real reality. Not terrified because I still seem to believe that everything will be ok, ultimately. But definitely a bit more than anxious. That’s just the truth of my state.

I started talking about something else. Something innocuous, only I saw the worst and expressed such a commitment to the negative, that my husband actually turned to me and said with the kind of mocking that only real love knows is warmth, “How’s it all looking from over there?” And my breath caught for a split second, and then I remembered. 

My point of view is my experience, my story. And right now, mine is a bit overcast and a bit gloomy. Luckily, since I noticed this is my lens, I’m having more moments where it’s a little cleaner. It’s December 23rd. I’m in my first ever matching sweatsuit, and my husband is making me dinner. I’m cozy with gratitude and love. But the waves come and my vision is clouded.

That is why the saying “both can be true” is the most true statement there is.